#crying because this sucks

[starmieknight]

Was thinking about Stan's habit of grabbing his chest when he's scared and then thought about what if he did end up having a heart attack or something after Ford came back. Like, he's been stressed for ages and now he's gotta worry about Ford potentially getting the kids into something dangerous like he did and where he's gonna go after the kids leave and what he's gonna do without the Shack.

Maybe it hits him in the middle of tour or something. Like, he's been feeling off all day and looks kinda ragged so maybe Soos is keeping close and sees him go down. At first, people think it's part of the tour or some typical Stan gag. And then he doesn't laugh or try to play it up for money. So the twins run down to the basement to get Ford.

He's kinda annoyed that his planning time's been interrupted by Stanley's antics, but the twins seem genuinely upset so he goes to check it out. And finds out Soos and Wendy called an ambulance and there really IS a problem. Then he kinda disconnects from the situation. Like, he's panicking internally but this isn't the first major medical situation he's been in. So he calmly gets the kids (Soos and Wendy included) into Stan's car and follows the ambulance to the hospital. He's the one wrangling the kids while they freak out and asking all the questions to the doctors and nurses about Stan's condition. He can't take time to worry about his brother because he's got a bunch of kids to reassure and they're all looking to him because he's the eldest person there. He's an old man with all the answers in the universe. If anyone can tell them Stan's gonna be okay, it's gonna be Mr. 12 PhDs.

Except... he doesn't.

He doesn't know anything about his brother's medical history past the age of seventeen. Dipper's the one to mention Stan's medication and Mabel knows his diet and Soos and Wendy know about his boxing hobby and work schedule. Ford has a hazy memory about Stan chewing his way out of a trunk once.

He starts thinking about how Stan's the only family he has left. Sure, the twins are there, but they don't really know each other. Shermie and his son are just over the state line in California, but they don't know who he is anymore. Stanley's been wearing his face for years and they never seemed to notice. His parents are dead. Fiddleford is 30 years in the wind.

Stanley's the only one who truly knows him. Knows about his deepest insecurities and childhood dreams. Who knows his favorite books and comic book heroes. About his first disastrous date and the kissing bot. About how badly things had gone for him and been at his doorstep only a couple of days after receiving a single postcard after 10 years of silence.

And Ford knows nothing of the man Stanley became. Stanley doesn't know how Ford has changed. How he's trying SO HARD to fix his mistakes.

And suddenly being so angry over some paltry little machine doesn't seem so important. Ford's the one who built a doomsday device.

He's still angry with Stanley taking his identity, but what does it matter if no one noticed? Sure, Stan got him a criminal record, but he made one of his own in the multiverse. Their family has always leaned to the gray side of the law.

And now they may never get the chance to know each other again. 40 years without each other and the pain of potentially losing Stanley cuts Stanford so deep he feels like he's the one dying.

So he sits in that cold hospital waiting room, four hysterical kids surrounding him, and wears a straight face while his world falls apart around him.

If you lose your parents, they call you an orphan.

If you lose your twin, they don't stop calling you a brother.

[wwillywonka]

working on my style

[yelrabmena]

I reaaaaallly hate how fnaf fans seem to hate any interpretation of william afton that makes him even a bit complex or gives him a proper motivation like it ran over and beat their grandma or something. doesn't even have to be an interpretation of his canon self I've seen people get pissy about it in AUs and whatnot. this is especially common in twitter and reddit from what I've seen and admittedly even I used to be like this

yes he's probably an unforgivable asshole in canon, he's also barely a character whose motivations we literally do not know by just looking at the games and have to turn to outside sources to have even an idea of, but why would someone having a "willcare au" make them bad (actual point of criticism I've seen). Like no, making him care about his children does not mean treating him like he's a good father, in fact, fathers who care about their children can also treat them like shit and/or be extremely negletful! (very common irl!)

this also applies to whenever people make his motivation related to his dead son, which for some people seems to be code for "this person completely justifies everything william did to his own children and others and should be beaten to death with a sitck", when most people who do that also make him treat Mike like shit so I do not see how its remotely pretending he's a good father

[clumsypuppy]

beep beep im a sheep

speeddraw below the cut (audio warning)

song: "Cult of Dionysis" by The Orion Experience

[bedtimegiraffe]

Here are all of the Blades breakups!!!

To paraphrase MC, maybe I'm bad so other people don't have to be. (And I do love it because I love angst and heartbreak and what they can tell you about a character)

If you want something very different, here are all of the proposals.

Aerin

Imtura

Mal

Nia

Tyril

Valax

Characters I believe are genuinely okay: Aerin (I'm just as surprised as you are), Imtura, and Valax. I think Mal and Nia are getting there. Tyril I have concerns for.

[charleemoon]

hii omg i love your hannibal content - especially your takes on will i swear you understand him the most ever !! <3 i was just wonderingggg (im sorry this is dark) what do you think wills reaction would be if hannibal died a few years post fall?? im interested in your vision honestly haha

okay oh my god i had to sit down and turn my pc on for this

warning for death, emetophobia, suicidal ideation

i think the responses would vary slightly depending on his cause of death. i think the most realistic for them would be hannibal falling ill. they're not sure what it is. an infection, something autoimmune. hannibal's always been attentive to their health, but whatever it is, it slips under their radar. will tries everything, he waits on him hand and foot, the whole world stops. the medications don't help, the check-ups lead to nothing new. hannibal speaks often of god's cruelty, rapsy with chapped lips and burning skin. he doesn't seem troubled. it's almost like he's been waiting for it–the clock ticking down since he was eight, the other shoe about to drop. will tries not to beg, tries not to bargain.

every moment with him, reading his books out to him in broken french, cajun accented and ugly on his tongue. basic meals that will toughens out, burning the fish and the underside of the pan with how often he zones out, body tingling with unreality. for so long, will thought hannibal near invulnerable. they survived a fatal fall, outran the fbi, nothing could touch them. and here they are, hannibal sickly and thin, stag-like and small. he tries not to weep.

when he dies, it's not grand, not beautiful. will has his head on hannibal's chest, hears the broken whisper of mischa's name, and quietly, almost like it fears impoliteness, the beat of hannibal's heart stills under his ear. he doesn't move. he doesn't sob. he just lays on hannibal, and waits to die with him. waits for his heart to stutter and explode in his chest. for them to die together, for their bodies to rot in this house until someone finds them, decomposing and growing into each other. to finally be united as one. it doesn't come. it never comes

the next few days feel like forever. he doesnt leave the room. he doesn't move, just lays in bed with hannibal. relishes every twitch of his body in rigor mortis, holds him until he's frigid cold to the touch, caressing his bone white knuckles. he lays with him until the smell is unbearable, the decomposing meat sweet and pungent. will hunches over and vomits roughly on the hardwood floor, all foam and stomach acid. it wakes him out of his stupor, dizzy and nauseous.

hannibal hated waste. he would hate to rot away in this bed, purposeless and empty. hannibal was so, so beautiful, and he deserved to be part of the world's endless beauty. he, in death, deserves to be elevated to even more.

he uses every part of hannibal. stitches his hair into his fishing lures, soap and candles out of his fat, lathering himself in hannibal, warmed and alight at night with his burning flesh. carved the bone of his annulary into a ring that he wears on his own. they hadn't gotten married yet, will was going to propose this year. he was already hannibal's, and hannibal was his.

he buries the rest of hannibal in the backyard the way he did his childhood dog. he uses him as compost for the garden they always planned to start. he starts studying hannibal's recipes, tastes the vegetables like hannibal's organs, plump and raw on his tongue. hannibal spoken once, broken and with a smile, about will eating him. will wouldn't listen then, and he waited too long now. with their garden, hannibal could be in every meal will has for as long as he can maintain it.

will still kills, but not as often now. him and hannibal had different ideas of rudeness, of righteousness. there wasn't much need to compromise anymore, and it wasn't the same without him. killing was a form of intimacy, of retribution. it feels horribly lonely without his company. he wonders how hannibal stomached doing it like this for so long. now that he knew what killing was like together, everything paled in comparsion.

he kills and elevates, brings beauty to the world when hannibal cannot. at times though, he is wrought with anger, impulsivity. he'll hear a nasty word, a privileged scoff, an underhanded comment on the sick and the dying. things that remind him of hannibal, the ungratefulness, the disgusting spouts out of the mouths of those who no clue what it's like to lose. sometimes he drags them by their hair, beats their face until their skulls cave in. he shudders at the sight, destruction so extreme there's nothing to harvest. hannibal keeps finding new ways to change him, to make him weak, even in death. it almost makes him happy.

he wonders a lot of things about hannibal. questions he never asked, things he wasn't certain of. despite the years, they were slow, and gentle. there wasn't any need to rush into things. they had their whole lives to get to know each other. that's what he told himself. he looks into his family, studies the books he read, his jotted notes and underlines. he relearns loving hannibal, grows to understand him without him there.

the community is nice where they've settled. it's kind, close-knit. they usually had to make their way into the city to find anyone rude enough for their tastes. he volunteers, frequents the libraries and holiday celebrations. they're so sorry for his loss, always sorry. he wears hannibal's clothes out, smells the collar when he feels socially awkward, nervous. he's there, hes with him. he fidgets the bone ring on his finger to soothe himself, akin to how he used to stroke his thumb along hannibal's smooth skin, gentle caresses in public and in bed.

most of all, will starts going to church again. not to pray, or worship. not to beg for hannibal back, demand answers for god's cruelty. he knows why. god is cruel because it feels good. he goes to show him. an insult to him and all he takes away. he stands in the pews and stares into the eyes of christ. will lives and he shows god every way that he defies him.

he never dates again. its not even a thought. he's asked out every now and then, once enough time as passed. they say he's widowed, he's not. will is hannibal's, always. he lives, he grows. he takes care of himself, follows his passions and pursuits. he thinks of death often, but continues on, knowing hannibal would take endless grief in will wasting his life, his beautiful mind blown a hole through with the shotgun under the bed. will has no faith in death to be anything at all, no belief that god would be kind enough to allow will to see hannibal once more. he lives, and he keeps living. but he is displaced, empty. never truly satisfied, never truly happy. and how could he be? he is but one half of a man, after all

[medecineformelancholy]

“Thank you for letting me in,” Trent murmured.

“I wasn’t gonna let you stand out in that storm,” Ted pointed out.

“No… I mean, yes, thank you for that, but thank you for letting me in here,” Trent said as he pulled his left arm back from around Ted and laid his hand on Ted’s chest. “I’m glad to know you better.”

Ted loosened his hold on Trent to bring a hand up to wrap around Trent’s.

“Thank you for wantin’ to know me at all.”

------

For Chapter 21 of I Really Enjoyed Getting to Spend This Time With You by @rngaredead 💙

Like Trent in this chapter, I'll never be able to put into words how much this story and our friendship means for me. (“I still don’t think I was supposed to be here, but I’ll never regret showing up like I did”). Thank you for giving this a chance and not giving up until the finish line.

This story is about mistakes, but to me it's also about circles. Circling in suffocating thoughts after a misstep. Circling in words trying desperately to get them out right. Circling in a slow dance in the silence of the kitchen when all paths seem closed. Humming on the next level, hesitant light coming through with so much weight. Shouting through the music on the next one, filled with smiles and hope (and if you caught a pattern with those *wink wink rule of threes*, you get a gold star). Circling back to each other and up together.

The story is over, but THEIR story is not 💙

[sleepy-crypt1d]

i will die on the hill that simon and his mom have a good relationship

[cheerfullycatholic]

You get no other options, just pick one (and please explain your judgement because I'm really curious about your opinion)

[smal5504]

IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT I 💥 HAVE 💥 BEEN 💥 💥 RESCUED 💥SAVEDB💥 SALVATIONED 💥 THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU legal guardians for leaving for aroun ten minutes so i could reach out and BE SAVED!!! SMALPIN IS!!! NOT GOING TO DIE TODAY!!! /GEN!!! RHAHAHSHSHHSHDGSGXZGZGZ /VPOS

[pocketgalaxies]

responding to orym's "what am i here to say" with the most earnest gentle curious non-judgmental "i don't know!" god i could cry about it.

[jellyjamheadart]

the sudden evil urge to make an angst drawing with Guajiro Cookie crumbling emotionally over trying to be good enough for Burning Spice’s approval (someone’s been listening to Where’s Your Head At a bit too much lately)

[shitouttabuck]

guess who got a coke can thrown at them and told “ur not wanted here freak go back home” by a man (with his CHILD in tow) while reading in the park today ! lovely summer evening to be hatecrimed i guess

[thats-a-mood-gabriella]

Idk if anyone here has seen the show Versailles, but I've been thinking about it a lot lately in regards to Stolas and Stella's marriage. That show features a storyline about the King's gay brother having to get married and produce an heir, and it has an entirely different outcome.

Spoilers, obviously, but by the end of the show, the brother, his boyfriend, and his wife are quite happy in a little polyamory situation. Seriously, this is the final shot of them in the series ("I'm married to the two men I love."):

And while I'm not saying that it had to be exactly the same for Stolas and Stella (or that Versailles was a perfect show; far from it), I'm just trying to say that, had she been willing, they could've worked together. They could've said "we both hate that we've been forced into this situation, but there's nothing we can do about it right now, so we should work together as a team to figure out how to make this a bit more bearable for each other."

[gelarshiesprofruitboarder]

im gonna kms are they stupid

[escapetomerlegaritaville]

See sometimes you can just sense that an arc is gonna be poorly handled from the start and all you can do is weather the storm and wait for it to be over so maybe they do something more interesting next time